No Part Of You Is Bad

This morning I was working with one of my Mind-Body coaching clients.

We had a lovely session.

I can honestly say that I truly Love this type of coaching.

I love holding space and helping people get to know themselves better, especially getting to know and honor some of the different parts of themselves that at one point they thought or felt was bad...

Lately I have been taking a deeper dive into helping some of my coaching clients get to know their different parts from an internal family systems perspective.

I find it so incredibly respectful... 

We are all made up of different parts.

All parts of us are important. All parts of us matter. All parts are only trying to help and protect us.

Often, though, it feels like certain parts of ourselves are fighting against us.  It can feel like they are making life harder.

Maybe it is a part that causes you to feel anxious.

Maybe it is a part that causes you to procrastinate.

Perhaps it is a part that causes you to try to be a perfectionist, followed by another part that beats yourself up for not being perfect.

Or, maybe there is a part of you that is causing you to live in chronic pain.

The truth is that each and every part of us is simply doing its best to protect us. To help us its own way.

So, back to my client.

Today we focused on feeling and honoring two parts that were at odds with each other.

(Have you ever felt that way?  A part of you wanted you to make one decision while another part wanted the opposite?  Maybe you were left feeling anxious because you were not sure which choice was the best?  Maybe you were even frustrated or upset with yourself because it felt like you were stuck in perpetual indecision??)

For my client, there was a part that wanted to get up earlier in the morning to do some self care; in her words, things like yoga, prayer, eating a healthy breakfast, and even finish my online program Peace and Calm.

And then there was another part of her that wanted to stay in bed and relax. This part did not want to get out of bed because this part knew it was going to have to start the day running and doing things it did not want to do without a break. This part of her felt a lot of pressure and felt that this early morning time was the only time of the day it was able to take a pause.

I wonder, can you see that both parts were, in their own way, trying to help her?

Both parts were trying to protect her. 

One part knew she could start her day feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally better while also feeling the joy of giving to herself what she knew she needed.

The other part knew how quickly her day was taken over by her busy work and to do schedule. This part knew she would work really hard, giving all she had to her job until she collapsed and was only able to veg out before going to sleep at night.

During our coaching session she was able to drop in and honor both of these parts.  In time, each part felt honored. Each part felt heard from a place of compassion.  The sense of anxiety and conflict was replaced by a sense of calm and relaxation.

In the past she judged the part of herself that needed the extra rest in the morning as negative.

Before our session today, she often would not be able to get out of bed to do what she told herself she would. 

She would then, in her mind, beat her self up, saying not so kind things to herself, making it even harder to get herself to do what the other part knew would be helpful.

And, by the end of our session she experienced a complete reframe.  

Today, she left with a deep understanding that there is no part of her that is bad.

What a beautiful and truthful message to take in. 

Please see if you can also take this in.... No part of you is bad. You are not bad.

As we were finishing up she told me how much she enjoyed her session. She told me that she now realized she had a lot of internal conflicts and that she had been judging some parts of herself as negative. Now she has a deeper understanding that when different parts are in conflict with each other, neither is bad or negative. They just have a different point of view, a different story.

And yes, more work needs to be done. More time spent with different parts of herself, honoring and understanding. 

It does take time to begin to connect with and understand these different parts of ourselves, especially those parts that are in conflict with what we feel, we what want, and what we need.

AND when we do, the lightness, the calmness, the peace and the healing are indescribable.

If you are interested in mind-body coaching and getting to know some of your different parts, email me at [email protected].

In Peace and Kindness,

Jennifer Chu, Mind-Body Health Coach

Founder, Wholistic Pelvic Health Specialists