Inner Critic

The topic of the inner critic has been coming up a lot lately in my conversations with others lately.

I have been listening to an audible that talked about our inner critic and inner thoughts.

Last week I was on a group coaching call with one of my online programs, Mind-Body Syndromes, and we were discussing how none of us on the call, until we were taught to be become aware, were not even aware of the inner dialogue that occurs in our minds, let alone how harsh our inner voice can be to ourselves.

Lately, when my daughter messes up, her inner critic takes a front row seat and the harsh words she speaks to herself rough. 

And then, on Saturday I was a dinner with a friend and the topic came up again.

The universe, it seems, wants me to marinate on the inner critic ;-)

For those of you who have never heard of the term inner critic, to me, the inner critic is the self talk that occurs in our thoughts, either consciously or unconsciously, that is critical towards ourselves in some way shape or form. Often our inner critic judges, criticizes, or demeans ourselves, even when the situation may not call for this.

Actually, in reality, judging, criticizing, and demeaning, is never warranted. 

I think what strikes me is how common negative self talk is.

Amazingly enough, whenever I bring this topic up to people, whether client, patient, or friend, everyone seems to resonate with the reality of our harsh inner dialogue.

So, aside from the fact that this topic keeps coming up, why am I writing about it in this blog...

Let me explain...

When I was in school I was taught that we are our genes. In other words, our genetics, and only our genetics, determines our health and our body's destiny.  

Thankfully this is not the case.

If it were the case, every single person with the breast cancer gene would get breast cancer. Thankfully, it is not as simple as, you have the gene therefore you will definitely get the disease.

A whole new world called, epigenetics, is being studied and researchers are finding out some amazing things.

Research shows that our bodies are affected by the environment surrounding us.  This includes, what we eat, toxins, energy, our feelings, and our thoughts.

Let me emphasize this again...  our energy, how we feel, and our thoughts literally affect the cells in our bodies, including which genes are turned on and off.

What a concept!

We have more control over our bodies than we ever realized.

And changing our thoughts can literally affect our health and our body.

This brings me back to the the inner critic.

How do you think you feel when you inner dialogue is filled with judgement, criticism, and demeaning energy?

What do you think happens to your physical body with this kind of inner talk?

And, most of us are not even aware of the often constant barrage of negative self talk, let alone the affects this type of judgement and criticism can have on how we feel AND on our body's health.

Today on another coaching call, we were discussing how hard it can be to not only recognize the inner critic, but also, to find compassion for ourselves when negative self talk occurs.  Instead, usually another voice seems to come out, judging the fact that we are talking so negatively to ourselves. Ironically, this is the opposite of what we need to do to help ourselves release of our inner critic.

The first step is to intend to bring awareness to our own inner critic.  

Awareness is key.

If we are not even aware when our thoughts take this turn into negatively, we will continue to allow these thoughts to affect our bodies.

So, your first goal is to slow down and give yourself the space to notice your negative self talk.

Your second goal, over time, is to meet your inner critic and self dialogue with compassion.

Most of us would never say half the things we say to ourselves to another person that we say to ourselves in our minds.

This process, and it is a process, will take some time.

And, if you dedicate yourself to beginning to notice your inner critic, and to meet your inner critic with the kindness and compassion that you truly deserve, over time, the rewards will be even more far reaching that your mind can imagine.

If you would like some 1:1 Mind-Body Coaching to help you with your inner critic, email me at [email protected] and together we can take those first steps.

In Peace and Kindness,

Jennifer Chu

Mind-Body Coach