How Do You Feel?

Hi, How are you feeling? 

I don't mean that in the way it is often asked, in a nonchalant, I-don’t-really-want-to-know-but-I-feel-like-I-need-to-be-polite kind of way. I mean it. 

How are you really feeling?

Do you ever take some time in your day to check in and notice how you feel? How your body actually feels?

Personally, today is a pretty rough day for me. Yesterday I received some news that rocked my world a bit. I am grateful that this world rocking news has nothing to do with my physical health or my children’s physical health, but it does have to do with our emotional health. The news affects my children, myself, and my ability to do my job. AND I know I played a role in this news crashing down as it did.  So, as I sit and check into my body, I feel stressed. I feel sad. I feel guilty. I feel a bit overwhelmed.

AND as I sit here feeling all of my feels, I am also incredibly grateful that I have taken the deep dive into the mind-body work that I have in the past five years or so.  I am thankful, because I now have the tools I need to not get stuck in fight-or-flight stress mode.

If this happened ten years ago, my body would likely have been stuck in survival mode. I find it amazing how our bodies turn so quickly into this mode even when in reality our lives are not in danger. And when our bodies are stuck in this stressful survival mode, our bodies do not function in an optimal way. In this state our brains get taken over by focusing on staying alive. Now, of course, I know I am not actually going to die, but when we get stuck in fight-or-flight and our brains get hijacked and we can no longer think straight. This is partly because when we are in this stressful mode the non-dominant side our brain simply does not function as well.  And the part of our brain that processes emotion, the amygdala, takes over while the part that helps us think rationally goes off line.

So, after hearing the news, when I was able to find some alone time, I sat with these sensations in body.  I could feel discomfort in my stomach, my solar plexus, all the way up into my chest around my heart. In some areas it was sharp, but for the most part, if feels like a deep dark ache. In the past I would have pushed these sensations away. I would have done everything I could to distract myself from feeling these uncomfortable sensations. And this would have kept in my body in high stress mode for much longer.

And research shows that chronic stress can actually be harmful to our bodies…

I would love to tell you that in sitting with these sensations for only five minutes that they were gone… that I had perfect clarity on why this happened and what I need to do to move forward but that is not exactly how it happened. I still feel them, but they are not as intense. Nor do they take up as much space in my body.  I can tell you that I am able to be aware of the negative self-thoughts that feed into these vibes.  As I am able to be aware of my tendency to mentally beat myself up when I am down, I can conjure up some self-compassion and some self-grace instead. When in fight-or-flight, this is pretty much impossible for me to do.  Thankfully, I now have an inner knowing that, even when I mess up (and um this happens a lot), I know I am truly doing the best I can. AND even more so, I am truly doing everything in my power to learn more and to be better.

From this place of self-compassion, I can see this world-shaking scenario from a different place. I can see that this happened to bring my awareness of how I could be more present and conscious in how I live my life. I can even see the gifts that are underneath the difficulties this news brings to me, my daughters, and my professional self.

In the end, I do not yet have an actual solution to this “problem.”  However, I do know that I will be much better able for the solution to find me in this state of self-compassion and calmness than if I were stuck in the survival and stressful fight-or-flight state.

Thanks for reading this and taking this journey with me.

In my next blog, I plan to discuss what it means to be in the fight-or-flight state as well as how being stuck in this state can affect our bodies.

In Peace and Kindness,

Jennifer Chu, MS, PT, WCS, Mind-Body Health Coach

Owner, ITR Physical Therapy

Founder, Health Education Your Way

P.S. If you have any thoughts or questions, please email me at [email protected]

P.P.S. Please share this blog if you know anyone who you feel may benefit from reading it. Thank you